


All's Fair

by flouridation



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: A Separate Peace AU, All Is Fair in Love and War, Angst, Boarding School, Crushes, F/M, Frenemies, Frenemies to lovers ?, Friends to Lovers, Gen, I Love My Babies, I'm lifting a lot of scenes straight from the book but it's got a lot of me in there, Jealousy, Let the virgin space wizards kiss, Love Confessions, Mutual Pining, Pining, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, WWII Era probably, a separate peace - Freeform, angsty fluffy horny reylo, background finnpoe that may become more prominent in the future, did i mention sexual tension? there's sexual tension, freed-nipple universe with no heteronormativity, if you've read a separate peace you'll probably be pleasantly surprised by this fic, like a lot of sexual tension, oh my god they were roommates, though i do owe mr knowles a great deal of thanks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:15:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22304020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flouridation/pseuds/flouridation
Summary: "A Separate Peace is a coming-of-age novel by John Knowles, published in 1959. Based on his earlier short story "Phineas", published in the May 1956 issue of Cosmopolitan, it was Knowles's first published novel and became his best-known work. Set against the backdrop of World War II, A Separate Peace explores morality, patriotism, and loss of innocence through its narrator, Gene." —Wikipedia."It's just, like, I just, I, Ben Solo, uh-h—" —The Author."All is fair in love and war." —John Lyly, "Euphues."This is a story of mutual pining, emotional fuckwitage, violence, passion, adoration, and weird ass romantic tension. Ben Solo is my baby now, he will embark on this journey of love and loss. Will he be alone?
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 5
Kudos: 10





	1. The Tree

**Author's Note:**

> This is a deeply personal funsies passion project. I hope you like what the inside of my brain looks like.

**Chapter One: The Tree**

“Come on, it’s not that high,” Rey said from the limb above them. She bent her knees and jounced the limb, laughing at everyone’s exclamations of terror. “Who wants to be the first to jump?” 

“No chance in hell,” Poe said, eyeing the tree with distrust. “That branch is twenty feet above the ground.” 

“It’s thi—THICK!” Rey said, startled by a sudden strong breeze that made her lurch and grab at the tree’s trunk. “C’mon, who’s gonna jump first?” 

“How stupid do you think we are?” Finn asked.   
  


“Yeah, why don’t you jump?” Rose said, looking at the slow-swirling water of the Devon River below the bank. 

“It’s a privilege to be the first to jump from this tree. I just want to be generous!” Rey’s teeth and eyes both glinted with joy in the afternoon sunlight. It was also warming her skin, bare save for her dark underwear and bra. “Who’s gonna do the honors?” Her eyes suddenly alighted on Ben. 

_Damn it._ He couldn’t say no when she looked at him like that. Not that he found it easy or even possible to say no to her most other times. He made a show of looking around, then shrugged. “Fine,” Ben said with a shrug. “I’ll do it.” 

“My man!” Rey crowed as he stripped down to his undershirt and black boxer shorts, folding his pants and sweater into a neat pile with his shoes and socks. She clasped his hand with a warm, strong grip as he clambered up next to her and shook it firmly, then stepped back so he could make his way out to the end of the limb. He took a deep breath, peered down at the ground below, and instantly regretted doing this. Why was he doing this? Oh right, Rey. Rey again. It seemed she was always getting him into situations like this lately. His comfort zone lay forgotten somewhere under his desk in the trigonometry room. He didn’t know whether to appreciate this change in himself or to resent it, but he knew that Rey had some strange power over him. He didn’t know exactly what it was or how it worked, but it was undeniably present. It concerned him, especially as the hard rocky riverbank lay hungrily below him. 

“Off you go,” Rey said encouragingly. “Go on, Ben!” 

He did as he told her, putting one foot in front of the other as if he were on a balance beam. At the end of the limb he paused again, examining the dark water below and wondering how deep it was. He knew other students had made this jump before, but that didn’t mean it was safe. He hesitated, but he could just imagine Rey’s hopeful gaze behind him and knew he didn’t have a choice. He took another deep breath, then leaped at far as he could into the river. “YES!” Rey exclaimed as he plummeted and landed with an epic splash, sinking many feet below the water level and then resurfacing with a gasp. He blinked the water out of his eyes and saw her teetering above him at the end of the limb. He hastily swam out of her way and then she jumped, yelling in delight before making an even bigger splash than he had. She was under for a second and then breached the river like a dolphin, spitting water out with a cough and beaming as she swam up to him. She grabbed him by the shoulders and plunged him under with a laugh, then a shriek as he spun her underneath too. They made blurry eye underwater eye contact and Ben felt his lips being tugged into a smile. He permitted it, because Rey was the only one who could see. 

They reappeared and made their way to shore arm in arm, Rey still whooping with excitement. “Alright, who’s next?” 

No one ended up going next. The dinner bell rang while everyone else made stumbling excuses about unprecedented trick knees and pulled muscles and potential cramping from recent snacks, and the rest of the crew hurried off to catch their evening meal while Rey and Ben were getting dressed. When they were properly clothed she elbowed him and butted her body against his arm. “Hey, Ben.” He turned to her. She then dove for his legs and sent him sprawling onto the ground with a grunt. He smiled inwardly and flipped onto his back, then leaped up and got her into a headlock. She laughed and heaved him over her shoulders as if he weren’t the slightest bit bigger than she was. He fell to the ground once again and they sparred for a few more minutes until he finally got her flat on her back and pinned her down for good, red-faced and panting. She stared into his eyes, then looked down at their position and snorted with laughter. 

“What?” Ben asked, then suddenly realized he was straddling her. “Oh.” He chuckled, covering his smile with a hand, and rolled off her onto the grass. They lay there together for a few moments, catching their breath as the sun cast its final rays down on them and only them. It was warm, so warm, and Ben found himself thinking of Rey’s skin. It was a mental association that must have been made when that same sun illuminated her bare body in the tree. 

Eventually they stood up and made non-statements about hurrying if they were to be at the dining hall in time for dinner, though by now they were bound to miss it. Acknowledging this, they decided instead to simply retire to their shared dormitory. They turned away from each other politely as they changed out of their day clothes and wet underwear and into pajamas. They pondered over readings and assignments for an hour or so, sitting and lying about cross-legged on the floor and ignoring the perfectly good desks the Devon school had provided for them. They chatted intermittently until they got too tired to bother anymore, then they each crawled into bed, turned out their nightstand lamps, and said goodnight. 

_Another perfect day,_ and the image of Rey’s incandescent eyes were Ben’s last thoughts before he slept. 


	2. The Kitten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He definitely doesn't find her cute.

**Chapter Two: The Kitten**

Ben awoke to the white early sun streaming through his window under the shades. The clock read 6:55. Breakfast wasn’t until eight, and class not ‘til nine. He could spare a half hour to lie about and watch the sun creeping out across the quad. 

And so he did, and let his thoughts wander. He thought about what he would do today, and suddenly realized it was a weekend. The third Saturday in July, as a matter of fact. The headmaster’s brunch for their grade was this morning. The thought made him slightly anxious; he didn’t particularly want to socialize with his teachers this time of year. It was bad enough to be at school during summer in the first place. But he admonished himself sternly for these thoughts; after all, there was a war on. Everyone had to make sacrifices. 

There was a war on, it was true. He read about it in the papers, heard about it on the radio. People were dying in all sorts of ways for all sorts of reasons. There was war everywhere. Even at Devon. But it didn’t feel quite real to him, despite there being evidence of it everywhere. Everywhere but this room. This room that he shared with Rey. Here there was peace. 

That one idle thought which mentioned Rey immediately prompted a trickle of other thoughts about her. He glanced away from the window and across the room to her bed. She lay there peacefully in a tangled swaddle, curled up like a kitten, with her mouth lolling open and presumably drooling lightly on her pillow. Ben had had a kitten once when he was a young boy. It had been a tawny, energetic little creature with sharp teeth and hazel eyes. He loved playing with it; he’d drag string along the floor and the kitten would chase it and pounce. It would climb up his legs too, little claws digging through his pants and clinging to him as it mewled to be fed. He missed the creature, he realized, though it had been perhaps years since he’d even thought of it. It had died when he was ten, leaping from the high balcony of his family’s home in an effort to catch a tempting bluejay.  _ Sweet creature. Poor thing, _ he thought as he listened to Rey’s little snores from the other side of the room. Even her snoring was kittenish. Not that he found her cute, of course. It was just an amusing sort-of resemblance that crossed his mind as she slept. 

Suddenly she stopped snoring and he froze, then quickly turned his head back to return to staring out the window. He listened breathlessly to the sound of rustling sheets and cracking joints as she shifted in her bed, then came a deep yawn and lip smacking. A cup on the nightstand clattered and there was a pause where Ben understood that she was taking a sip of water. Then the bed creaked as she sat up and stretched. 

“Ben?” She whispered in his direction. “Are you awake?” 

He closed his eyes, counted to three, then turned his head and opened them. “Good morning.” His voice came out as a croak after a night of no use. 

“Morning.” She stood up and did some stretches, twisting at the waist and alternately touching her toes and reaching for the ceiling. Her threadbare grey pajamas exposed the hard muscles of her midriff as she moved. “Mind if I open the shades?” He shook his head. She leaned over him, bracing a hand against his hip as she reached for the drawstring and raised them so that the sun spilled through the room. He cleared his throat stiltedly and she removed her hand. He raised his knees almost to his chest, feeling embarrassed. 

“What shall we do today?” She asked, apparently not noticing his rather rigid demeanor. 

“We’ve got the Headmaster’s brunch, remember?” 

“Ah, of course. Third Saturday in July already?” 

He nodded. 

“Well then.” She glanced at the clock. It read 7:45. Had he really been awake that long? “I suppose we might want to get ready.” She went over to his dresser and started rummaging in his drawers. It was a habit of hers. She knew no boundaries when it came to sharing a living space. As far as Rey was concerned, sharing a living space equated to having joint custody over every piece of personal property. The upside to this was that she didn’t mind loaning him her exercise gear. The downside to this was that she frequently wore his sweaters and used his shower caddy. He’d made his peace with it by now, much like he’d made his peace with her calling him ‘Ben.’ When he’d first started at the Devon school, a couple of years before, he’d been trying out ‘Kylo.’ It was his way of trying to be cool and show that he was grown up. It lasted for all of two days; then Rey showed up and greeted him. She called him Ben because that was the name embroidered on the cardigan he’d left draped on his desk chair, the cardigan his mother had made him that was so tight by now it was unwearable even without the childhood connotations. 

By the end of the week, everyone had slipped into calling him ‘Ben.’ He’d submitted to his fate. But secretly, very deep down, there was a part of him that resented Rey for shattering his image so quickly and irreparably, just minutes after meeting him. And she hadn’t the faintest idea. 

“What shall we do until brunch?” Rey asked, momentarily abandoning her rifling. 

Ben pondered. They often exercised in the morning; it was something they both enjoyed and could do together. “Calisthenics?” 

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” She punched his arm playfully. “Gotta keep your five hundred million muscles taut.” 

“We have the same number of muscles,” Ben said, sitting up with a yawn. “Mine are just bigger.” 

She ignored him. “Let’s go for a nice run, it’s a beautiful day. We can’t waste the New England summer. It’s a gift.” 

“Alright.” He got up and did a few stretches as well, then nodded meaningfully at his dresser. Rey politely turned away as he slipped out of his pajamas and into clothes more suited to outdoor exercise, and she did the same. They slipped on some running shoes and headed out the door. “So are we just gonna do a lap around the quad?” 

“Three,” she said, and he groaned inwardly. Running was not his area of expertise. In fact, his build made it quite difficult. “Come on, let’s go.” 

They started at their doorstep and began their first round of passing all the buildings one by one. By the end of the first lap Ben was feeling fatigued and clumsy, barely able to keep up without injuring himself somehow. 

Rey, on the other hand, was built for running. She moved like water or some kind of animal, a predator chasing down prey just for the joy of the experience. Her limbs flew and she seemed to have an endless amount of spring in her step. She looked back at him. “Ben!” she said incredulously. “Keep up!” He was about ten yards behind her. She turned all the way around and started running backwards, just to add to his humiliation. Ben huffed and tried to pick up his pace until he was level with her, but as soon as he caught up she turned and started running forwards again and he had no chance. This cycle repeated a couple more times until they finally got to the final leg of the last lap. There Ben gritted his teeth and sprinted as hard as he could, blazing past Rey and scrambling up their doorstep to tap the door frame. 

“I win,” he said as Rey caught up to him and slapped the frame beside him so hard it rattled, breathing heavily and furious. Then Ben collapsed, had a coughing fit, and started dry heaving. The rage at coming in second melted right off her face as she saw at what cost his victory had come. She started howling with laughter as he continued to pant and felt what seemed like every muscle in his body having a cramp at once. His face was burning. 

“Ben!” She cackled, grabbing him by the hand and yanking him to his feet. “I’m not worth it!” He shoved her and sent her reeling, making her laugh even harder. “Ow!” She shoved him back and knocked him to the ground where he continued to cough and sputter until she helped him up again and he finally caught his breath. 

“I think the important thing is that I won,” he said finally, leaning with a hand against the door just as someone opened it from the inside. He tumbled through the entryway onto the mat and looked up. Poe stared down, baffled. 

There was a pause, then Poe said, “Morning, Solo.” and stepped over him and out the door. Rey convulsed with laughter. “Rey,” Poe acknowledged her with a nod before trotting off. 

“And to you, Dameron,” Ben said in an artificially deep voice, face flaming. 

“Come on, Ben, let’s get you a nice shower and we’ll head off to brunch, sound alright?” Rey helped him up by his arm and he instinctively jerked it away. She raised her hands in surrender and he got to his feet. “That’s it, easy now,” she spoke to him as if he were a horse. He glared for a split second, then looked away and continued inside. Rey followed, still stifling laughter. 

“It wasn’t that funny,” Ben said as they reentered their dorm. Rey nodded, shaking and not really suppressing a smile. 

“Of course not.” They each grabbed a handful of presentable day clothes, a towel, a washcloth or two, and a few standard showering supplies. Well, Ben grabbed a handful of presentable day clothes, a towel, a couple of washcloths, and his set of standard showering supplies. Rey just grabbed a towel and a set of what he knew she probably considered to be presentable clothes. It was mutually understood in that moment that she would be using his body wash and shampoo. Ben sighed. “What?” She asked. 

“Do you own your own bar of soap?” He asked, gesturing at her heap of clothes with the bottle of body wash. 

“Yes,” Rey said. “Irish Spring.” 

“Would you like to use it today?” 

She shook her head. “Yours is all apricot-y. My soap is boring.” 

“My soap is mine!” He snapped, still gesturing with the body wash bottle. 

“You’re weird today,” she said, eyeing him. 

“I am not.” 

“Yes you are. You’re all peeved.” 

“I am not!” He raised the bottle to gesticulate again, realized that made him look peeved, then put it down gently. “I am not,” he repeated, much softer. 

“So I can use the apricot shower gel?” 

He almost exclaimed, then sighed. “Of course you can use the apricot shower gel.” 

“Thank you for being reasonable.” She picked it up and tucked it under her arm with her clothes. “Shall we?” 

The showers were mostly empty; only one in the corner was occupied. As they entered, singing from that side of the room petered out into silence. “Good morning, Rose,” Ben called, and he and Rey exchanged a look. 

“Morning,” the voice said gruffly from the stall. The water shut off and a hand reached for a towel hung over the shower stall door. “I didn’t see you guys come back for dinner last night.” 

“Ah, yeah, that’s because we didn’t,” Rey said, stripping and tossing her sweaty workout clothes right onto the wet floor without a care. She set her clean clothes in a vaguely neat bundle on a bench near the door. Ben averted his eyes. “We got sidetracked and decided we might as well skip.” 

Just then Rose emerged, a dark grey towel wrapped around her body. She eyed them both for a second. “Right.” Her gaze flickered between them. “Gotcha.” She reached for her clothes and started getting dressed. 

“We got into a wrestling match,” Ben supplied awkwardly. “Then we had some studying to do.” 

“Gotcha,” Rose repeated, shimmying between them and out the door. “Well, seeya later.” 

“See you,” Rey called cheerfully as the door to the bathroom slammed shut. She stepped into the nearest shower stall. Ben set his clean clothes down next to hers and took the stall next to hers, hanging his shower caddy on the divider between them so they could both reach it. He waited until they were both inside their respective showers to remove his clothes, then hung them over the door with his towel. Rey had already turned on the water, yelping as it came out cold. “She seemed weird too. And so did Poe. What’s going on with everybody today?” 

“I dunno,” Ben said evasively. He turned the water on in his stall and flinched as an icy jet poured down over him. He began the showering process with diligence. “Maybe you’re being weird.” 

“Am not,” Rey said, and her hand reached over the divider for his shampoo. Ben shook his head, smiling to himself. The cold water was soothing his temper a bit. 

“How’s your studying for our French oral coming along?” Ben asked as the door opened. 

“Ew, get a room,” Finn’s voice said. 

“Morning, Finn,” they chorused. Then Rey said to Ben, with a perfect French accent, “Je ne give a damn pas about le français.” 

“Me neither, but we still ought to study, oughtn’t we?” 

“Je suppose.” 

“After brunch?” 

“If we must.” 

Finn stepped into the shower next to Ben’s and supplied, “Monsieur Hux is such a hardass.” 

“Yeah.” Rey’s arm replaced the shampoo in Ben’s shower caddy. 

“You were using that for awhile,” Ben said uneasily. 

“I’ve got a lot of hair. Washcloth please.” Ben handed it to her. 

Finn, both politely and wisely, didn’t comment on their bizarrely codependent showering habits. Instead he said, “What the hell are we gonna talk about at this brunch?” 

“Beats me.” Rey’s shower faucet clicked off and the door clanged open, then Ben heard the sounds of her toweling off and dressing. He turned his off too. 

“Would you hand me my clothes, please?” 

“Uh-huh,” Rey said, and a moment later they appeared on top of his door. 

“Thanks.” He dried himself and got dressed. “What time is it?” 

“Time for you to get a watch,” Finn said. 

“Thanks.” He rolled his eyes and stepped out, now fully dressed in a button up shirt and khakis with the school’s emblem tie knotted into a four-in-hand. He collected his shower caddy and dirty clothes, then withdrew some hair gel and applied it with the aid of the mirror. In the reflection, Rey made faces at him. He studiously ignored her and began the process of shaving. The sinks, fortunately, did provide hot water with some consistency. It took all of thirty seconds. He splashed some cold water on his face and turned around. “Ready?” Rey nodded. 

“Bye Finn, see you at brunch,” she called over her shoulder as they were on their way out. 

“Wait,” he called back. “I was wondering, have either of you seen Poe today? I can’t seem to find him.” 

Rey’s shoulders shook with laughter and Ben’s head shook with disapproval. To Finn he called back, “Yes, we passed each other on the way out this morning. Why do you ask?” 

A pause. “No reason.” 

“Right.” Ben held the door open for Rey. “Bye, Finn.” And it slammed shut behind them. 

“What do you suppose he’s asking after Poe for?” Rey asked as soon as they were halfway down the hall toward their own room. 

“Dunno. Why?” 

“Dunno. They’re usually inseparable. I’m just surprised they haven’t seen each other yet today.” Ben didn’t comment. They reached their own room and tossed their dirty clothes into the hamper, then Rey sat down on top of her desk. “Do you think they like each other?” 

Ben was confused by the question. “I always thought so. Aren’t they, like, best friends?” 

“No, that’s not what I meant.” 

“What did you mean?” 

“Do you think they see each other as something besides friends?” 

“Oh.” He paused, pondering. “Dunno. What makes you wonder about that?” 

“Dunno.” She swung her legs back and forth, though they were pretty much long enough to drag on the ground even from her perch atop a couple of textbooks. “Just haven’t seen a lot of them lately when they’re not together.” 

Ben shrugged. He noticed he’d forgotten to make his bed, so he did. Rey watched him hopefully. He sighed, then made her bed too. 

“Oh, thanks!” She said with painfully faked surprise. 

“You’re welcome.” He checked the clock. “I suppose we’d best get going.” 

“I suppose so.” Rey hopped down and joined Ben. 

The Headmaster’s house was clear across the campus, and the sun was creeping up enough for it to be getting hot. Ben and Rey strode side by side, for all practical purposes joined at the hip. 

The brunch itself was uneventful, even dull. Who would have thought lunch with all of one’s teachers on a Saturday wasn’t everyone’s idea of a good time? The students milled about the buffet stiffly, making small talk with their teachers and each other, probably feeling (as Ben did) that anything they did remotely wrong here would get them into deep trouble. He himself had been sitting quietly at a table on his own for the last hour or so, sipping orange juice and wondering what time it was. He did see Poe, and Finn, both dressed nicely in blazers. They seemed to always be on opposite ends of the room from one another, though they kept shooting glances at each other all the while. Ben watched with idle interest, remembering what Rey had said. Where was Rey, anyway? 

He looked around, scanning the room, but couldn’t seem to find her. He’d spent about thirty seconds doing this when someone’s voice murmured close to his ear, “Hi.” Ben jumped. It was Rey. 

“Hi.” 

“This is boring.” 

“I know.” 

“Let’s ditch.” 

“What?” He turned to look at her, suppressing a smile. “Without even excusing ourselves?” 

“We’ll excuse ourselves. Pretend you’re ill. Pretend dinner last night made you sick.” 

“We didn’t eat dinner last night.” 

“Then you’re constipated from not eating enough.” 

“Why do I have to be constipated? Why do I have to be the one who’s ill in the first place? Why does anyone have to be ill?” He had many questions about this plan. 

“You’re already emotionally constipated, so it isn’t even a lie. Come on.” 

“That’s a terrible idea.” 

“Worse than sitting here for another hour and a half?” 

He was silent, scowling. Then he said, “I’m not emotionally constipated.” 

“Can you cry?” 

“I choose not to.”  _ Like she ever does. _

“Come on,” she said, dragging him out of his chair by his shoulder. She elbowed him hard and he clutched at his stomach. “Perfect, hold that pose.” He obeyed. 

They made their way over to the first cluster of teachers they could find and Rey made up something elaborate about his fictitious malady. Ben heard exclamations of  _ Oh, the poor thing, _ and  _ Stay hydrated,  _ and  _ Same thing happened to my brother _ over the sound of his own buzzing thoughts. 

He was both vexed and excited. He didn’t skip out on school events. He’d hardly even missed class. He got the feeling that he was skidding toward something very dangerous, and it was Rey pushing him. He wanted no other in that place. 

They made their escape and ran off giggling toward the river. He realized halfway there that Rey was holding his hand. 


	3. The Question

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He's at a loss for words around her far too often for his liking.

**Chapter Three: The Question**

  
  


“Come on, let’s jump!” Rey said as they reached the tree. She was already whipping off her restrictive presentable garments. 

“Aren’t we supposed to be studying for French?” 

“Je ne give a damn pas—” she noticed his expression. “Oh. You’re being funny.” She cocked her head. “Are you sick or something?” 

“I can be funny sometimes. It doesn’t mean I’m unwell.” He unbuttoned his outer shirt and took off his pants, shoes, and socks so only his underclothes remained. 

“I was being funny,” Rey said as he scaled the tree. She followed close at his heels as he crept out onto the limb. He turned his head to make some kind of retort, but that threw off his balance, and for a moment he teetered at the end of the limb. The ground flashed below him and he felt certain it would rush up and crush him; his life flashed before his eyes. His parents, the kitten, summers, winters, Rey, Devon, the war—it was all about to end in a hard splat on the riverbank twenty feet below. 

Then Rey’s hand shot out and grabbed his arm. She steadied him. The visions evaporated. He exhaled. “Careful,” she said, smiling. He forced a chuckle, turned away, and leaped into the water. It occurred to him on the way down that she’d probably saved his life. 

_ Though of course I wouldn’t even have been up there without her.  _ He splashed and sank, and Rey jumped in after him. “Are we going to do this every day of the summer?” He asked as they made their way back to the riverbank. 

“We should. It can be our ritual.” 

“Does it have to?” 

“It does now.” 

“I shouldn’t have asked.” 

Rey nudged him. “Come on. It’s fun.” 

“What if one of us falls?” 

“Then the other one runs for help. Deal?” She held out her hand. 

“Alright.” He shook it. 

“Aha! We’re going to jump out of this tree every day of the summer session.” 

Ben sighed. “Great.” 

They laid out air-drying for awhile and then snuck off to their dorm. At Ben’s firm insistence, the two of them spent an hour or so studying for the upcoming French exam, but after that Rey had had enough. “Je suis bored.” She punted her book into the corner of the room. 

Ben closed his book and set it neatly down on his desk. “What would you have us do instead?” 

She pondered for a moment. “Let’s get out of here!” 

“And go where?” 

“The beach. Come on, it’ll be fun. We’ll still have hours of daylight left by the time we get there. 

They weren’t supposed to leave the school grounds. The beach was ten miles away, an agonizing bicycle trek down tedious back roads. They would have to skip at least one more meal and would surely be missed. They had a church assembly the following morning and probably wouldn’t be back until late at night. It was ninety fahrenheit and humid. It was obvious what he had to say. “Alright.” 

“Yes!” She beamed and stood up. “Let’s go.” He followed her out the door, not sure whether he wanted to inwardly sigh or privately smile. 

Their bikes were lined up in a rack beside a shed at the far end of the athletic field. As they got there Rey suddenly stopped in her tracks, pulling Ben back as well. “What’s that sound?” 

Ben listened. He heard only screaming. “Cicadas.” 

“No, the other sound. I hear people talking.” 

“That’s us.” 

“Shut up.” She placed her fingers over his mouth. He craned his neck away from them and swatted at her arm. 

“Your hand is salty,” he said. 

“Listen.” She dragged him by the arm around to the door of the shed. 

“The hell have you been touching?” He was still on the hand thing, licking and rubbing the taste off his lips. She shushed him, looking meaningfully at the door. She put her head against the wood and listened. Ben glanced around to make sure nobody saw them, then did the same. And then he heard it. 

“We can’t just not talk about it, man.” A man’s voice. 

“What are we supposed to say about it, huh?” _ Poe _ . “It happened. I don’t want to make it weird.” 

“You’re making it weird by not talking about it,” the other voice whisper-screamed. Rey grabbed Ben’s shoulder and mouthed something:  _ Finn. _

“Look, we had a moment! I don’t know what we’re supposed to do about it.” 

_ A moment? _ Rey and Ben both mouthed, exchanging a look. 

“We could start by talking about it!” 

“Shh!” Poe hissed, and Ben and Rey froze. “Someone’s out there.” 

“Who?” 

“The bubble buddies. Shut up.” 

Ben cringed. “Does everyone call us that?” He whispered in her ear. Rey shrugged, then pulled him around to the other side of the shed just as Poe opened the door. 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” He asked, stopping short as he realized no one was there. Then, as if he sensed them, he rounded the corner and stared them down. Rey and Ben looked at each other. 

Rey unfroze first. Always getting into scrapes, sometimes getting out of them, she had quick reflexes. “Hi.” 

“Were you listening to us?” 

“Yes,” Rey said, just as Ben said ‘No.’ 

“Great, thanks.” Poe sighed. Finn stepped out behind him. 

“Hey guys.” 

“Hi, Finn,” They said to him in unison. Ben cringed again. 

“We’re sorry,” Rey said simply. “We needed our bikes and you two were being weird. We eavesdropped.” 

“We didn’t hear anything important,” Ben added. But his mind repeated the phrase  _ bubble buddies _ . 

Finn and Poe exchanged a look. “Okay.” 

“We won’t tell anyone what we heard.” 

“Okay.” They started to walk away. 

“We appreciate your forgiveness!” She called after them, to no reaction. 

“How was that so easy?” Ben whispered as soon as they were out of earshot. 

“You should always let me do the talking.” 

They unlocked their bikes and slunk off the school grounds. Ben was surprised at how easy it was to make their escape. Security must have gone very lax during the summer session. They pedaled down the lane that led up to the school, Poe’s words still ringing in Ben’s ears. “Bubble buddies. What did he mean by that?” 

“That we float and are friends.” 

“I’m pretty sure he was saying we share soap.” 

“Yeah, that’s what friends do.” Rey was focusing on doing a wheelie. 

“Cut it out, you’re going to break your neck.” Ben swatted at her from his own bike. 

“I’ll break  _ your _ neck,” she said, swatting him back and veering away. “Bubble buddy.” 

“Don’t f—ing call me that.” The word came out before he even realized he was thinking it. It wasn’t something he thought often. 

She stared at him in shock and nearly ran into a tree. “Did Ben Solo just swear at me?” 

“I’m not your f—ing bubble buddy.” He couldn’t resist doing it again. It had felt so wrongly good the first time, like he was getting away with something even though he knew Rey wasn’t offended by strong language. He hardly ever swore. He certainly didn’t use that one. He was tingling. 

“Why not? And why are you swearing?” She looked baffled. And he suddenly realized what a weird thing he’d just said. He stifled a laugh and Rey looked even more bemused. “Are you angry or joking? Are we bubble buddies or not?” He didn’t have an answer. He just kept peddling. 

Two hours later they arrived at the tiny stretch of town bordering the beach. They chained up their bikes, took off their shoes, and made their way out to the water. It was cold, even in July, but Ben was used to that by now. New England was just like that. They were so hot and sweaty from their bike journey that he didn’t mind. Rey leaped into the surf fully clothed. He followed her at a distance, watching her head bob above and below the water. He had a sickly feeling like she was about to get caught in a riptide and be swept away from here forever. Or maybe he was. 

The water roared and Ben, unable to hover idly in the event that Rey was taken, swam out to meet her a dozen yards from the shore. She turned when she heard him and exclaimed in delight. “I thought I’d left you behind!” 

“You can’t get away from me that easily.” He was treading water, the sand probably two or three feet below him at most. Rey was floating on her back. He splashed her and sent her reeling into an oncoming swell of a wave. She tumbled past him and grappled with him in the midst of the onslaught. He lurched under and emerged again with a gasp, flailing. She held him up by one arm and let the waves carry them both back to wading depths. Then she let go and swam away with the grace of a goldfish. Her movements were like water, strong and deep and flowing seamlessly. Utterly characteristic of her. He found himself remembering suddenly the first time he’d met her, that day that Kylo died and the ( _ Yuck _ ) “bubble buddies” were born. 

It had been an afternoon in late September. Ben had been busy in the library and returned to find a partially unpacked suitcase in his doorway, and a strange person sitting on his desk. She was dressed in white, loose-fitting clothes that gave her the appearance of a choir girl or an alter server. Which was funny in hindsight, when juxtaposed with the fact that he’d never met anybody less Catholic in his life. “You must be my roommate, Ben! I’m Rey,” she’d said to him, standing up and holding out her hand. “Nice to meet you.” 

He’d been so flustered that he muttered, “Yes. I’m Ben Solo,” and shook her hand. It was warm, strong, rough, and small compared to his own. He cleared his throat, then said more loudly, “Rey what?” 

“Just Rey,” she’d said with a shrug. 

“Excuse me?” 

“I don’t have a family name. I was raised in an orphanage. I never knew my parents.” She’d swallowed and looked away, then resumed with the cadence of a joke: “I’m nobody.” 

“Oh.” He recovered his manners. “Nice to meet you, Rey Nobody. Where are you from?” 

“Nowhere,” she said with a dismissive hand gesture. 

“Where’s that?” He asked, playing along. 

“Wakefield.” 

“Never been there.” 

“Don’t bother.” And he’d chuckled to himself while his whole world began total ground-up reconfiguration. 

She’d been so secure in her past, so up-front about it. She was a self-described nobody, from nowhere, and she stepped into the ranks of Devon high-achievers without an iota of self-doubt. Maybe that was her secret; no one was telling her what to do or who to be. She knew exactly who she was and was okay with it somehow. It was something Ben couldn’t fathom for himself, and something he wished he had. 

That and how she could talk her way into or out of anything, be it detention or a football game or Devon itself for that matter. She’d earned her place through a full merit scholarship. Rey was every teacher’s trouble-making pet. She could do no wrong even when she was doing everything wrong. Ben envied her that. 

He had always had high expectations placed on him. B grades were bad grades; he’d had that instilled in himself. He’d been tutored by many successful family members and could see the pride and expectation in their eyes. He couldn’t let them down. Rey only answered to herself, and her work was always good enough. No one else he knew had that level of confidence. 

He staggered to the shore after a few eons had passed. He was sunburnt and windswept, and had had his fill of swimming for the day. He laid out flat on the hard-packed sand right at the water’s edge and let the foamy waves wash over him without submerging him fully. Rey drew near. “Alright there Ben?” 

He nodded, eyes closed and hands crossed over his chest. He heard her laughing. 

“Come on, let’s go get ourselves some dinner.” She reached for his hand and heaved him up off the sand like he weighed no more than a sack of wet laundry. He groaned in protest but stood up and leaned against her, and their soaked clothes dripped onto the sand. 

They wandered the streets of town as the sun painted the sky pink and purple, and eventually sat down to eat at a tiny bar. Ben was quiet most of the time, but Rey talked. She rambled about her childhood and fighting for scraps and playing with stray animals. She asked his opinion on everything from french fries to Fitzgerald’s fiction. She offered many opinions of her own. Ben sipped a cool glass of water and listened, watching her face change as she flitted from topic to topic. 

“What do you dislike most about me?” She asked suddenly. 

“What?” 

“What’s the worst thing about me, in your opinion?” 

“That’s an uncomfortable question.” 

“I’ve got a beach’s worth of sand in my personal area right now, I clearly don’t care about comfort.” 

“Fine. I have to think,” Ben said. “You go first. What do you dislike most about me?” 

“You’re too conventional,” she said immediately. 

“You thought that up too quickly.” 

“I came up with it in the shower this morning.” 

“You think of me in the shower?” 

“I mean, you’re right there in the next stall.” There was a pregnant pause. “Bubble buddy.” 

Ben slapped the bar and their utensils rattled. “Don’t call me that.” A few other patrons turned to stare, and he shrunk onto his stool. Rey raised her hands in surrender, still looking amused. 

“Can you just answer me one question?” 

“Fine.” 

“Why does it bother you so much?” 

Silence. “I don’t know,” he finally growled. “It just does. Why doesn’t it bother you?” 

“Because it’s hilarious.” 

“How?” 

“Oh, so many ways,” she said intensely, gripping his shoulder. 

“Elaborate.” 

“The alliteration, for one thing. It just rolls right off the tongue: bubble buddies. It’s adorable. It makes us sound like marigolds or dish detergent or something.” He stared blankly. She pressed on. “It acknowledges our friendship and also that we bathe—” 

“—You’re too self-assured,” he blurted out before he could stop himself. “It’s unnatural at our age.” 

Rey bit her lip and looked away. “Ouch.” Her shoulders were shaking slightly and Ben sighed. She was laughing at him again. 

“It’s not a flaw. It’s just unsettling.” 

“You should spend more time with me, let it rub off a bit.” 

“As if I don’t spend every waking moment of my life by your side,” he grumbled. 

“Sleeping moments too, remember? We share a room.” 

He rolled his eyes and went back to sipping at his water. 

They paid for their food and returned to the beach, now spread out under a glimmering sky of moon and mist. They settled down near a particularly comfortable-looking dune and stared up at it, listening to the sound of the waves ebbing and flowing less than a dozen yards away. For once Rey wasn’t the one to break the quietude first. “Thank you for dragging me out here,” Ben said to the night. “Even if we miss chapel and get expelled tomorrow.” 

“You need to unwind and have fun more often,” Rey, the night, said back. “It’s important for you. And for me too. I wouldn’t have done this alone.” 

“Me neither.” 

“I needed someone I cared about with me, you know? A real friend. Someone I love. You know. You. I love you.” She was murmuring. 

Ben stopped breathing. He saw that as the only way out; suffocate, then he wouldn’t have to face the unbearable churning inside of him that had been going on all day but come to an epic head at those words. He knew the polite thing to do was to say them back; he cared about her too, she was his friend too. He loved her too. And all of that was true. But there was more to it than that. Feelings he didn’t dare express or even name. They were terrifying and incomprehensible and loud. He felt sick and it felt good and terrible at the same time. He had no idea what to do about that. 

A soft snore came from the sand next to him, and he exhaled. But he didn’t sleep a wink that night. 


End file.
